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Everything Everywhere All At Once

I just watched the above titled movie last night. And at first, was a bit disappointed because I had high expectations of it, and it turned a bit more action-packed kungfu hollywood than I liked. And I also wondered if the film was trying to express a very long intense psychedelic trip, which was interesting, but I wasn't understanding the point of it all.


Then today, because I just needed to understand it a bit more. I watched some YouTube commentary of the film, and now have a better appreciation for it. This video here speaks how essentially, the movie and its multiverses is a symbol for the internet we are experiencing today, in 2023. Where we can be watching so many things at the same time, listen to so many different opinions, people’s experiences, that how is it possible to just stay focused in one verse, and be present anymore?


And the ‘villian’ Juno Tupaki, at first seemed like a character who just broke after too many acid trips into too many universes and has become a demented, cruel, jaded person who don’t care about anything anymore, because ‘nothing really matters’ and we are all just random lives in random worlds where random things occur. So where is meaning in anything anymore? What I realise now, is that this is a commentary on our crazy, modern, internet filled world. Where it’s impossible to have a belief anymore because immediately after that, there will be something that will debunk your belief. Just when you think drinking plant based milk is good for the environment, there will be a counter theory on that available on the internet for you to trust.


What’s real. What’s not? Which channel should I give my attention to? Which teacher should I trust and follow? This crazy world is fucking hard to navigate. I found that already, growing up as a child in the 80s and 90s where my parent’s life is so so different to mine, they had a limit on how much they could ‘teach’ me of how to be a successful, thriving happy human being. Imagine what our kids will now be exposed to?

The internet. Social media. It’s huge.


And I am totally conscious of the irony that my work here with the whole art thing on instagram and youtube is me participating in this whole internet world. Writing this blog post itself now, is me, putting out my thoughts and opinions into the world. Contributing to this huge giant soup of information overload.


But you know what I am grateful for?

For painting.


Since doing Youtube, I have felt the need to record every single painting, from 2 angles at least in horizontal format, and 1 in vertical format for instagram and shorts. And then after I get them, I feel like I HAVE to upload them into my computer and start editing them. I am commoditising my art, so much so, I feel almost drained sometimes before I even start painting.


I have started however, to not record every single painting. To just ‘let some go’. And I can still photograph them at the end and post it can’t it? It’s not all gone to waste. And lately, I needed that a lot more. I need to unplugged. It’s the one thing, that is so so so deliciously pleasurable without needing to entertain myself with a youtube video, podcast or audiobook. Actually, the best times is painting while listening to some good music. Oh. I do love that.


So almost 4 months into my Youtube Journey, I am feeling like I want to step back a bit. And not grind so hard. I say that now, but can I do it? I mean, I am actually monetised now! The days I put videos up, the views are bumped up and I get a little surge in ad revenue. But is this sustainable?


I have dreams to paint in bigger formats. Make patterns that can turn into wall paper and surface designs. I wanna try different arty things. I think, I need to unplug a bit more. Because I came to this whole painting art thing, as a way to find my grounding and balance and flow in life. And I feel like I am inevitably adding it all back in!


Anyhoos. I enjoyed the film. Everything Everywhere. All at Once.


I especially loved the character, Waymond. This YouTube commentary here speaks of how he is the the beta male dad figure who in the end, did not change at all. But instead used kindness and love to ‘save the day’. I can’t tell you how proud I am of my asian heritage after watching the film. I am so happy that the day has come when asian english speaking people - this is me included, are represented in big films like this. And the take away I got from it is… yes this world is mad and chaotic and the internet has made us feel like we want to do it all, watch it all, see it all and there’s never going to be enough time in our lives to cover everything. So instead, we need to turn away from all of that. And turn towards the people we love. Our families, look them in the eye, and tell them, despite all that, I want to be here with you.


So this isn’t a blog post that I have put in my “plan” of blog posts to write. It’s something that just came up inside. Based on something that inspired me. And I don’t know if you resonate with me. That it so hard in this day and age to be here and present, with the internet and the metaverse and we are all stuck to our phones like it’s an extension of our existence.


And if we have something we love doing that isn’t related to the phone/ internet. Like painting. Like cooking. Like being with your friends playing board games, like playing a sport (not video games). Hold on to it. Because not much of it will be left I fear.


I leave you with this painting I did today, where I forgot to hit the record button for a timelapse. At first I was like... shoot. It would have made a super cute timelapse! But see what I did here to turn it into content anyway? Haha.


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4 Comments


babicita
Jun 30, 2023

It is lovely, very Matisse’que. It’s fun to pull off other approaches. I hear you, though. Sometimes I think I need to not watch any more you tubes (I only follow 3 artists, you being one of them) and spend that time painting. But a part of me is still learning so much, I’d hate to cut short the learning currve. And I find it so inspirational. Yep, life is a series of paradoxes we figure out sooner or later. I will see you soon, in zoom. LOL.

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Crystal Tan
Crystal Tan
Jul 11, 2023
Replying to

Thanks for the lovely comment Bobbie! Am feeling so touched I'm only one of 3 artists you follow on youtube! But I think me too. I have my top 3 - 5 favs. :)

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carp119
Jun 30, 2023


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Crystal Tan
Crystal Tan
Jul 11, 2023
Replying to

Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I just had a nice week off visiting friends and I was so much less on my phone the whole week because I was busy being social in real life! And it was wonderful.

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